What I did on my vacation

Not really a vacation ~ but I took a few weeks to stay in the real world and not live in my apartment (I think I need a new maid, this one leaves a lot of cobwebs ... and why is there an empty wine bottle in my trash can?!)

While I've been gone my baby buddha belly has gotten bigger, I've gotten more exhausted and lost another 3 pounds to the joys of morning sickness ... and I wrote out the story of my ill-fated love affair on my other blog.

Part 1: When the love of your life leaves
Part 2: The world crumbles
Part 3: The beginning of the pain
Part 4: The space between pain and healing
Part 5: Time heals all wounds ... sorta

And to top off the vacation ~ I read all 4 Twilight books. Cover to cover. In 9 days.

I think my eyes started to bleed on night 7, it started to get a little painful but I couldn't put the books DOWN!!!

So, that's where I've been, what I've been up to & why I've abandoned the apartment for a while.

On the up-side ~ DH has been surprisingly helpful and in a good mood lately. Stifling my material to spill to you girls ....

Marital Earthquakes

What happens when the "Come to Jesus" meeting after effects have worn off?

I'm calling it an earthquake.

Hubs is slipping back into his pattern of slackerdom and using all the excuses in his arsenal ... fine. I can deal with that, it's part of the PMS all husbands seem to get, whatever. But when I get thrown attitude last night because "You're ALWAYS exhausted" Oh. Hell. No.

Has he missed the fact that my stomach is getting large? Does he forget that I am currently growing an entire human being with no help from him? Does he not think that this takes most of my energy and by 9pm I am too tired to even think about holding a conversation?!

I need HELP from my spouse right now, not a guilt trip about how rough his life is. Suck it up and keep trudging buddy, I am. I am so tired of hearing how hard it is to stay home with one kid, I really am. I would be so much more supportive if his staying home included cleaning, cooking dinner, doing laundry or paying bills. Then I would be inclined to rub his back or bake him cookies. All his whining makes me want to do is break his windpipe.

I just can't figure out if I'm really upset or if this is pregnancy hormones causing me to overreact. I don't want to loose my mind over minor infractions ~ not when there are so many larger ones for me to go postal over ~ but last night was that last straw in the camel's pack, you know what I mean? When I said that I was too tired to watch tv ~ he burst out with "You're ALWAYS too tired."

The camel's back snapped like a twig.

Much like the animals in California ~ I smell an earthquake coming.

The Great Motherhood Debates

I never paid attention before I had kids, but in the last 21 months I've noticed that there are few "Mommy" topics that can rile women up as quickly as 1. Stay at home v. Working /2. How I had my baby (Aka Homebirth v. Hospital) / and 3. Boob v. Bottle. I had no clue how polarizing these three topics are and just how deeply the convictions run on each side.

I am a crunchy mom's worst nightmare ~ I work, I had her in the hospital with pitocin and an epidural & she had a bottle from 4 days old. I should be in jail for child endangerment by some people's standards, her asthma is because I was "too selfish" to breastfeed and HOW DARE I take medications while pregnant don't I know how horrible that is for my child?!?! (Take a deep breath people, all that yelling can make a person pass out).

There has been a lot in the press lately about homebirths versus hospitals, and both sides feel equally valient about why their team is best.

There will always be "Breast is Best" ~ but when that doesn't work you have to do something to feed the kid. Either they starve or they get a bottle, which one is preferable there?

And please don't start the SAHM v. WOTHM ... there are just too many initials for me to keep up anymore. My kid has had both options and honestly, I can see both sides of the coin and neither of them is the perfect answer all the time for every kid on earth.

None of these topics have one single perfect answer and every mother will always wonder if she picked correctly. You do the best you have with what you're handed at the time, and then you hope the rest works itself out in the end.

I'm so tired of being given the hairy eye when my decisions don't match up to another mom's, when suddenly they see me as toxic to their way of life and don't want to hang out with me anymore because *GASP* I spanked the Princess for running away from me and getting into the road. I'm sorry but a light and breezy tone doesn't cut it when my child is running into the path of a moving car. (She knew better and she had already been told not to do that once, this was her second [and almost last ever] offense.)

Oh wait ... spanking. That makes 4 Great Debates.

Lovely. More arguments to keep up with. I'm never leaving my house again.

An entirely different Mommy

I just have so much less energy and creativity with this kid than I did with the Princess. With her I was brimming with decorating ideas for her nursery, name ideas, dreams, desires to shop & things to do ...

This kid has yet to get any of that mommy-in-overdrive attention. I don't even have the motivation to think about names yet. We don't know what s/he is yet so why stress, we'll deal with it in 14 days after the big REVEAL ultrasound. I'm not worried about shopping, I know what we need & we can do all that in one trip a few months from now. I'm not worried about decorating seeing as we already have a nursery set up & we'll just transfer the baby from the bassinet into the nursery after a few months. I'm not worried about transitioning the Princess into a big girl room because 1/ if it's a girl they'll share the room 2/if it's a boy, then we'll move her in Feb once the baby needs the nursery.

All the caffeine I refused to touch with the Princess ~ that's out the window. This kid gets coffee & Dr. Pepper like they're going out of style. I'm not craving the fresh fruits & veggies that I Had. To. Have. with her, this one wants barbecue potato chips & those Popsicles in the plastic sleeves (the ones that cost $2 for 150 of them). Have I mentioned that I LOATHE Dr. Pepper & barbecue chips on a normal day ... apparently this kid is just like it's father too.

Man this kid is SO not getting the same Mommy that the Princess got ~ maybe that's a good thing in the long run. I don't think I could keep up that intensity and have a toddler this time around.

I took Swistle's advice

Apparently Friday night I turned the Hubs down! I wasn't even conscious, that can't be held against me (can it?) ... We started talking on Saturday after he told me why he was a tiny bit upset with me ~ I took Swistle's advice & asked him for a 3 minute overview.

I'll be darned if he wasn't happy to oblige a girl .... sort of.

My non-participation took 3 minutes .... my reciprocation took 20. Not quite the result I was looking for there.

We wound up having a long discussion on the changes in our sex life as a result of pregnancy & I'm not sure if I'm happy about where this landed.

His points:
Full out sex while preggy freaks him out.
He likes the idea of just the replacement activities.
He wants to feel closer to me, but the whole "baby on board" thing is a line he won't cross.

My points:
When I am in the mood while preggy ~ I'm REALLY. In. The. Mood.
His withholding the full enchilada makes me feel even grosser.
Our replacement activities are limited since I have a horrid gag reflex now.
I want to feel closer to him, but his picket line pisses me off.

And the dude has Got. To. STOP! initiating while I'm trying to get my REM sleep on.

We're trying to figure out a plan which satisfies all parties involved & requires a minimum of mess and time ... maybe we'll get there before Christmas. Is this a normal reaction for hubbies? I've tried to explain to him that he can't hurt me or the baby, even with all my other crappy stuff going on right now ~ having sex won't affect the pregnancy. He won't hit the baby in the head or break my water .... but he will not budge on this line. I would ask my IRL friends, but they already know far too much about my sex life ~ you people wouldn't know me if I stole your buggy in Target! HA!! (I would never commit that sacrilege!)

Is this normal or do I need to seek help for him?

How long is too long?

You heard me whine about having the sex life of a turtle.

You heard my confusion just days later when, out of the blue, Hubs turned insatiable.

You know the ramifications of that rainy season.

You know that I'm not in the mood to be touched lately.

So knowing all that ... how long is too long?

Let's put it this way ~ the candy store has been closed since Baby New Year's conception. I'm 16 weeks along. It's been a long dry spell & the Hubs is starting to crack under the pressure*.

The problem is that I have NO motivation. None, nada, zip, zilch, zero. I have occasionally handled the situation on my own in a minimum of time (massaging shower heads were sent by God to help all girls. Get one tonight ~ you'll thank me tomorrow.) I'm just not interested in the "activity" itself anymore. It takes too long, it's messy & sweaty & damn it I'm tired & want to go to bed already.

If he could cut the production down to a 3 minute overview ~ I would SO be on board ... maybe.

Should I just suck it up, give it up & hope that the mood catches up with me somewhere before the end? Am I the ONLY pregnant woman on earth who isn't addicted to sex 24/7 and twice on Sundays? (Believe me, this is what his friend's are telling him & I'm going to have to kill them for that)

I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with the Princess. The sex fairy found our house for 2 weekends out of a 39 week pregnancy. Hubs was less than impressed with her visitation schedule then, at this point he's convinced she's just boycotting our house.

He hasn't figured out yet that I've paid her to stay away until Valentine's Day.



*Hubs has been very sweet & supportive ~ he's only mentioned the drought once & he's not harping or guilting me into anything. I just feel bad for him & wonder if this is normal or if I shouldn't just buck up & help a brother out before he starts to grow hair on his palms or something.

Leaked Batman Preview

These kind of leaks normally get taken down quickly ~ so I can't promise this video will be around for long ~ but here you go!

VIDEO REMOVED BY SOURCE. SORRY!!

I CANNOT WAIT!

Heath Ledger & Christian Bale ~ Oh. The. Hotness.

Honestly, even if I hadn't liked every other Batman movie that's been made during my lifetime ~ I would still go see this one solely to see those two beautiful beautiful men.

If only we had a regular babysitter I would have some clue as to when I'll be able to go see the movie. This is one of those I'm not allowed to even think of seeing without Hubs, so no chance of seeing it until one of the In-laws can get up here to watch the kiddo for 3 hours or so. And since EvilSIL is spawning her 5th child today ~ it could be Christmas before we see them again.

If it weren't for the Batman movie that would be the happiest sentence I've ever uttered.