I JUST hit post on my last whiney piece of journalism ~ and Hubs called me saying he was sick. & He really sounded sick. It's his stomach again (Damn that Evil, Evil Monkey!) He has the worst stomache of anyone I've ever met. He has 4 ulcers, irritable bowel disorder (some level worse than "syndrome") & when he had insurance he was being examined for Crone's. Funny thing is that he's a big guy ~ so his doctors have a hard time seeing him as a typical Crone's patient. They did say that he has a malnutrition issue because of all this crap (HA HA! No pun intended) but that leaves him exhausted and worn out for days after a flare up. In his worst episode ever (last August) he lost 40 pounds before the Doctors were able to finagle his medicine to a working level again. He has continued to slowly lose over the last several weeks, but not at the alarming rate that he was before.
The stomach issues were part of the f'ed up reasons behind the loss of his job ~ and Chase Manhattan can kiss the fattest part of my ass - they know they screwed him over.
Ok now I feel guilty. I really do love my husband & he's a great guy ... I think he is trying to get the hang of this ~ and in his own mind he probably does feel jipped & like he needs the help he gets from me. I know being home with her is a full time job & I know that she is a massive handful (this kid does NOT stop moving from the moment she wakes until she goes to sleep & even in her sleep she's wild!) but I see my SAHM friends & they have clean houses, bathed children, and cooked dinners with their spouses come home from an 8 hour day at the office. I know they need a break from the kids & I am happy to do that ~ but I don't want to feel like I'm the only one working anymore ...
When I got home last night we had what's known in our house as a "Come to Jesus" meeting. This is the "get it together or watch me loose my mind" conversation in most houses. I was kind, and calm, and tried to see his point of view as I explained mine. I told him that I am hanging on by a thread lately & I need to feel like we're a team again. When we both worked, we both chipped in with the house & the Princess. As much as he does love to play his games, I understood the time he spent on them more when he had the excuse of forgetting about a hated job.
I came home tonight to a clean child, a completely empty laundry basket and a semi-clean house ~ which is a huge improvement that I happily accept. I know that I create a mess in this home too & I'm not excusing myself from responsibility around here, but I need to know that he can handle this place while I adjust to my new reality too.
But I have a drawer full of clean panties ~ I'm a thrilled woman tonight!
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3 comments:
Paul and I had to hammer out a basic understanding that goes like this: while he is at work and I am taking care of the kids at home, home and parenting duties are 100% mine. When he's home from work, the house and parenting duties are 50-50. Any other arrangement (like that I take off for the computer when he gets home, or that he gets the pipe-and-slippers treatment when he gets home) would mean that one of us got to have a workday and then be done, while the other of us was on duty 24 hours a day.
Isn't it nice to feel like you are actually heard when you say things? I think it's hilarious that you call it a 'come to jesus meeting' but that's probably a pretty accurate description! Hopefully it will help you strike a better balance so that you're both a little bit happier!
"Come to Jesus" can't stop laughinig at that one. Glad it seemed to have worked!
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