Friday, July 24, 2009

Why am I working weekends?

I fully understand that my husband feels his job as a SAHD is a full time gig. Even though I think it's more like a part time job ~ but I'll never say this to him because I would never want it repeated to me should I ever get the chance to stay at home to raise the kids.

Bear with me here ~ I'm not slighting 99.7% of SAHP's, but I think my husband has a pretty sweet deal kicking:

He & the girls don't get up until after 10am.
They do breakfast & then the Princess watches her cartoons in the back of the house while he takes care of the baby & gets himself ready for the day.
They play.
They do lunch around 1:30.
Nap time starts at 2:30 & goes until whoever wakes up. The Princess typically sleeps until 4:30 or so & The Baby ... you know how they sleep! There are days where she'll go down for 30 minutes and then days she'll go down for 3 hours.
I'm home shortly after 5 & the kids are handed off to me.

On a normal day Hubs has both girls awake for 5 hours (25hrs/week). Worst case scenario ~ 7 hours (35hrs/week).

When I get home there are dishes to be done from the day.
Laundry is only ever done on the weekends.
Cleaning is only ever done on the weekends.
Cooking is my department, rarely does Hubs cook dinner in the evenings & never until I get home.

I work (roughly) 8am - 5pm Monday through Friday with a one hour lunch (40hrs/week).

So yes, I get pissy when I get home & he calls out "Mommy's turn!!" and leaves me to handle the girls while he goes to relax.

Yes, I get frustrated when he sleeps in every Saturday and Sunday morning. Every. Until I wake him up sometime between 12 & 1. I don't wake him up before that because it's pointless, he'll just be grumpy & pissy and go back to sleep so I may as well leave him where he is.

Yes, I get ticked off when I have to clean up their dishes - or prepare and clean up dinner when I've barely been home 10 minutes and he's disappeared on me. And then having to hear "I can't cook with them underfoot & crying at me" ... well how the bloody snog do you think I make dinner?! With my magic fairy wand?!

Yes it irks me that weekends are called "Mommy's on Duty" and I am expected to take the children with me wherever I go. I get the guilt trips about "Why don't you take Princess to X, she hasn't left the house all week." Oh don't blame that crap on me - you have the better car at the house all day with car seats loaded up ~ you could leave this place anytime you wanted, but it's too hard for him to take both girls. And yet I'm supposed to be the pro at dealing with them alone outside the home.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm exhausted. I want to go home and lie down with an ice pack and a chilled glass of wine .... and yet I know as soon as I walk in the door he'll be waiting to hand the kids off to me & take his two days off (yes he does pick up the house & do laundry on the weekends and I do not help - this is payback for telling me he can't accomplish sweeping the floors during the week because the girls are in his way.) I know once I get home he will not take charge with the girls unless it's a medical emergency, or I badger him into helping me (for which I get a guilt trip and whining that could beat a 6 year old). I know that he Will. Not. touch a diaper. I know that I am up to bat for 60 hours, until I return to the office to draw a paycheck for our family.

I agree that his gig is full time.

He agrees that my job is full time.
So why am I the one left to work the weekend shift?
And yes, I pointed out the difference in our working hours because I'm jealous. I want to wake up late after snuggling in the bed with The Baby. I want to be able to take the girls to the park and the zoo during the week. I want to be able to be home with my babies ... I want to enjoy nap times too!
 
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