I changed my apartment around some. I can't pick a color to save my soul & the painters are going to start hating me soon ... this red is going to be a bitch for them to cover in a few months. So is that mural up there ~ I did think the diary was cute though.
Anywho.
Another week, another set of bills & another dose of zanax & here we are. Officially staring down the barrel of SPRING! While I would love to cheer, my ass is (yet again) woefully on the WRONG side of ready for bathing suit weather. Yeah, that's not changing any time soon!
The Hubs & Princess are on their 3rd week of co-existing as stay-at-home'rs. That's not a word, but it should be! They never leave the house - ever. If he needs something from the outside world he'll call me & ask me to get it on my way home ... and then calls every 10 minutes after 5:00 asking "when will you be home?" ~ I would have been there much sooner if you could have made your own run for wipes - STOP CALLING ME! I'll be there when I get there - give me a minute.
I have no privacy now that they are home 24/7. Last year when I was stressed I had the option of taking Princess to daycare, shoving Hubs out the door for work & then laying in bed all day ~ relaxing. Quiet house, no demands, long naps followed by a hot lunch & another long nap. It was a beautiful set up. Now that I really need that break it will never happen again. When I have a day off Hubs thinks that he should have the day off & hides in his room all day. When I ask for help all I hear is "I did it all week, just do it for a few hours"
I could deal with "I did it all week, just do it for a few hours", except that your "all week" is payback for all the nights you never woke up to help me out those first 8 months, all the days you weren't here in the first 2 months (when I was home full time) and all the weekends that you skipped out on me & played your computer.
I could deal with "I did it all week, just do it for a few hours", if I wasn't dealing with her & THE HOUSE. The house which you conveniently just didn't do anything with all week. I asked you to do the floors 2 weeks ago ... I asked you to clean our bathroom counter last week ... I can't walk 6 steps without stepping on a cheerio & I have no clue where my favorite hairbrush has wandered off to.
I could deal with "I did it all week, just do it for a few hours", if there were any clean clothes when I leave for work in the morning. I'm just saying, I need to smell & look decent to keep the one income this family is currently sporting.
How many SAHM's have hubbies who come home from work & whisk the baby away for the night - simultaneously cleaning up the kitchen from their breakfast & lunch, then cook dinner, and re-clean the kitchen, feed the baby, bathe the baby, play with the baby for 3 minutes, put baby to bed, start laundry, sweep up, clean the toys from the day, fold laundry and play with bills ... while SAHM gets to play online for 6 hours with her gamer friends?
I'm trying not to be bitter ~ but I'm still doing ALL the things I did while we were both working & I feel like I'm getting gipped in the deal. I still have to deal with bosses & traffic while he's at home sleeping until 9, getting her up at 10 & 2 hour nap to boot. Then I'm home at 5:30 ~ he's dealing with 5 hours a day ~ 7 on her worst day & doing nothing else. Is this normal?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
RSS Feed (xml)
5 comments:
I think it's a guy thing. They just don't get it. I am at home with the kids all day and manage to get laundry, dishes, dinner and cleaning done througout the week. Naptimes are rarely used for me to relax. And yet when Brad is home on weekends and the boys are napping and the house is a mess, he thinks nothing of turning on the tv and vegging for 2 hours. And he is happy to fry himself up a bacon and egg breakfast and leave the dishes in the sink ALL WEEKEND until he is back at work Monday and I can't stand staring at them and clean them myself. Seriously, next time around, I want to come back as a man.
THANK YOU!!!!
I can't tell you how many times I've thought "I want to be the Daddy!!!"
It just feels nice to know that I'm not being mean or demanding. Even though it feels like I'm a harping shrew some days. ;)
OMG, yes!
My husband stays home and has for a year. Most times it is me who is doing all the laundry and doing all the real, heavy-duty cleaning. I make dinner 3 nights out of the week and all meals on weekends, I clean the toilets and clean all (3 of) the bathrooms from top to bottom.
He does pick up after our two-year-old and stuff. And, granted he has some issues due to a car accident but for the love of all that is holy, please don't act like my life is a cake walk when you sleep 8 hours a night, sleep 2-3 hours a day and have 7-midnight to yourself
If he is making dinner, I feel guilty. He cleaned the litter box and ran the sweeper downstairs and I feel guilty. WHY, WHY, WHY.
I always tell him how much I appreciate the stuff he does so I feel more bitter that I always get an earful of how hard he has it. It isn't that I don't agree that it IS hard, just that he makes light of my duties...
Also, on the so-called days off. Ha! As the parent working outside the home I ALSO never get a day off. Sure, I get one from my PAYING job, but we are all still parents when we get home.
Hell, I let my husband go out of town for 10 days on his own vacation...do I get that? Hell no. (I do think he deserved it, but come on buddy, you don't have it THAT BAD.)
In any case, I feel you!
This sucks in a bad way. I think, honestly, you should let him read this post. Maybe put it in a letter format if you don't want him knowing about the blog, but get the truth out there. You are both co-parents and co-homeowners, and it's ridiculous for you to be doing all the housework AND going to work full time.
I had the same issue with my husband when he stayed at home with our daughter for her first year of life and I returned to work.
It was a big damned deal to get him to do anything. Like go grocery shopping. I explained to him that millions of women go grocery shopping with infants ALL THE TIME.
Finally, I got so frustrated that I just sat him down and had it out with him. No yelling, just a very simple conversation that listed all the points you made here. You are working out of the home. It is completely unfair of him to expect you to do all of these other things because when/if the positions were reversed HE wouldn't do all the things on your list. My big frustration was dinner. Why would my husband wait ALL DAY LONG until I am home again before thinking about saying, "So, what do you want for dinner?"
I want for you to have MADE IT. I don't need to be involved in the decision if you are home all day.
And so it goes. Good luck. I hope things work out for you very soon.
Post a Comment