Pregnancy skin that's far from glowing

Unless you consider the green glow of a nuclear reactor pretty ~ this isn't cutting it.

I have never had dry / itchy / scaly / disgusting skin before. And HOW is it that my face is simultaneously dry-scaly-itchy & still manages to have an oil field on my nose & chin areas???

If I don't spend the rest of this year scratching my face off it will be a friggin miracle.

Maybe the puke-fest that was my pregnancy with Noodle was a small blessing. It kept me hot and sweaty so my skin stayed clear ... or I was too sick to care what my skin looked like & no one wanted to tell me that I had the flesh of a dehydrated lizard.

My entire body is itchy. Constantly.

I get razor burn now ~ how is that fair? I'm banning all sleeveless shirts from my wardrobe because the burn from shaving my pits is driving me insane. I look like the cousin of a primate scratching at them all day. Let's just say that the area south of my Bella Band will not be shaved for many many months to come at this rate. My neighbors already think I have crabs ....

I guess I'm just not meant to be the pretty, glowing, happy pregnant woman who makes statements like:

“I love it. It makes me feel like a woman. It makes me feel that all the things about my body are suddenly there for a reason. It makes you feel round and supple, and to have a little life inside you is amazing. Also, I’m fortunate. I think some women have a different experience depending on their partner. I think that affects it. I happen to be with somebody who finds pregnancy very sexy. So that makes me feel very sexy.”

“I had a C-section and I found it fascinating. I didn’t find it a sacrifice and I didn’t find it a painful experience. I found it a fascinating miracle of what a body can do.”


I really, really hate Angelina Jolie today. Why can't she be a scaly puking mess like the rest of the pregnant world??