By now the whole country has heard that John McCain doesn't approve of gay couples adopting because "children need both parents".
And by now most people know that while, no, Obama won't agree to gay marriage - he will agree to gay adoptions. Although, shock of shocks, adoption is not a federal issue but instead, each state (and even private agencies) makes their own rules independently. So the president has no say in the matter. But it's a nice "stand" for him to make right?
And just realllll quick ... Mr. McCain ~ how does having two of the "same" parent make life any worse for a kid who has no parents ... or only one who doesn't want them anymore? Just a little query. No pressure to get back to me on that one.
So here are my thoughts. (That shocks you right?)
Hubs & I aren't exactly the normal nuclear family ~ He stays home & takes over the traditional SAHM role while I work outside of the home & bring in the bulk of our income. Come February 2009 he'll be SAHD with 2 kids under the age of 3. Send him your prayers as he will desperately need them.
How does it matter who stays home with the kids so long as they are loved, fed, changed, & played with on a daily basis?
Hubs would kill me for telling you this ~ but the guy makes a pretty good mom. He can cook, clean & do laundry. He can change diapers, pull hair up in pony tails & even sew up torn dollies. Granted I do better hair & my slip stitch is a little tighter than his ~ but so what? He can do all of that & still have time to snuggle on the couch watching Phineas & Ferb every afternoon.
He may not keep the house as clean as I would expect ~ but I'm not having to do it so I'm shutting up now.
He doesn't handle the multiple tasks as well as I think I do ~ but again, I'm not having to do it so I'm shutting up now.
If we were a gay couple ~ he would be the "mom" figure & I would play the role of the traditional father. Or we could be lesbian & I would be butch ... Ok I don't like this comparison anymore.
My point is ~ no Mom or Dad fully fits the traditional June & Ward Cleaver roles so who cares what's between your legs while you're doing the dishes or changing the diapers? Kids don't care the gender that their parents fill --- they just care that they have parents doing the job!!
Why is gay adoption a presidential stance? Shouldn't this be a no-brainer?
ANY loving & willing parents are better than shitty/non-existent ones. Even if they do happen to have matching genitalia.
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3 comments:
Good points and very well-written.
I absolutely agree, and I think this is very well-argued. There is only one thing that I would add, or expand on, and that is this idea of a spectrum of parenting, with no parents being the worst, Ward and June Cleaver being the best, and gay parents falling somewhere in the middle.
You are absolutely right that the gender of the parents has absolutely nothing to do with their ability to raise a happy, well-adjusted child. Therefore, it's not just that gay parents are better than no parents. It's that gay parents are the same as straight parents. They should be at the exact same point on the spectrum.
Here-here!! If you have ever seen the show 30 Days, they just did an episode where a woman who had VERRRRY strong viewpoints about gay couples not adopting go live with 2 gay men who had adopted 4 boys. The hope was that her eyes would be opened just a little bit. No such luck. They even brought up the same point-aren't we as parents better than no parents? She even met with 2 grown "kids" who grew up in the system-foster homes, group homes-never being adopted and asked them point blank if they would have rather gotten adopted by a gay couple. It was a resounding yes! She still didn't budge one inch on her viewpoint (and she was adopted herself!). I really don't get people sometimes!
BTW-My husband stays home with our 2 year old son and I "bring home the bacon" too. I consider ourselves lucky that we are able to afford to have one of us stay home (don't get me wrong, I would rather be the one to stay home, but it is what it is). I also think our son has a unique relationship with his father because of it.
I enjoy reading your thoughts!
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