Setting the date

Next to setting the date for your wedding, there are few days in a woman's life that will thrill them to no end. With the exception of setting the date of your unborn child's eviction. That date ROCKS. There's no special ring, no lavish celebration, no big poofy white dress ~ but hopefully there is a very sweet anesthesiologist in green scrubs willing to shove a large needle into your spine in hopes of relieving you of any and all pain. *AAAAAAH* I love an anesthesiologist! I should have married one of their people ... they get the good drug hookups.

Come to think of it, when we have to push a 6+ pound person out of our vajayjay's ~ why is there no flashy ring, no lavish celebration or a big huge cake waiting to be devoured at the end? There should be confetti & balloons falling from the ceiling with all manner of festivities and fireworks exploding outside our windows. We just birthed A PERSON. An entire little being just ripped through sprung forth from our body thankyouverymuch. Where the hell is our parade & Vanity Fair Oscar party?! The girls who birth those massive 9lb+ kids should get a freakin check from Ed McMahon. God love you ~ that's a freakin Olympic achievement right there.

The moral of this story is that my tiny renter's eviction notice has been announced & she has 28 days to vacate the premises or we're coming in there after her (literally, we're having a c-section - they are going IN to get her!) As of noon on December 29th, I will no longer be pregnant ~ I'll be fat for no good reason with a belly that looks like a half deflated Macy's day balloon ... but the heartburn & vomiting & insulin shots will be GONE!! WOOHOO!!

Oh yeah ~ and we'll have a baby ...

Um, can I opt to keep her in for a few more years? I may not be ready for this yet.