Karma's "Kick Me" Sign

I think the universe has stuck a "Kick Me" sign on my ass, I just can't see it to take the freakin thing off already!

The last few months have just felt like we've been kicked and battered and beaten up on, and there's no end in sight. I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones making the hits hurt more, or if our life is really just at this point and we are really just .... screwed.

• I'm trying to remember that my husband is healthy, my girl is healthy & that in 26 days we'll have a brand-spanking new girl (who is rumored to be healthy as well).
• I'm trying to be thankful for the fact that we do have a roof over our head & (if these people will work with me) we have electricity & water & phone service for the next month.
• I'm trying to remember that there are moms out there who really don't have any groceries in the house ... our pantry may be low, but it's not bare by any means.
• I'm trying to remember that there are kids who won't be getting anything for Christmas ... Hubs & I are skipping Christmas for ourselves, but our daughters won't go without.
• I'm trying to remember that eventually this too shall pass ~ but how long will it take to pass?

I know that our lives could be so much worse, infinitely worse ... but that doesn't stop my worrying about the money, how we will survive and how we'll make it to the next payday.

Hubs and I batted the idea of putting the girls in daycare & him going to find a real full time job again ... and then I priced daycare for 2 kids. We may as well take a paycheck and burn it on the front lawn for all the good that would do us. Even if he found a job making the kind of money he used to make (HIGHLY unlikely around here at this point) we would still only walk away with about $600 a month after daycare costs ~ then add in the gas / lunches / dry cleaning / pediatrician and prescription co-pays that we aren't currently paying with him being at home. It wouldn't equal out to enough money to make the stress & hassle of daycare worth it for us.

Oh. And then our second car died & any hopes of second jobs flew out the window. We've had it looked at & SURPRISE!!! The last shop that worked on it didn't fix a key thingy & now the car is worse ... it's seriously cheaper to get a new engine than to have the damn thing repaired.

I'm 9 months pregnant. My spouse & toddler are home bound. I work 40 minutes from the house.

My hand to God, if my water breaks at the office ~ I'm going to wind up killing someone.