The rocks at the bottom are sharp

Have you ever wondered what it's like to sit at your kitchen table and realize that you are financially drowning, and that *this* is your rock bottom?

We have been floundering for the last 2 years, seeing the bottom coming but desperately trying to keep our heads above water ... with little success. We've tried a home equity line, we've gotten tax returns, we've used our 401K money. We've paid off our credit card debt twice in the last 6 years, only to have to turn to credit cards again later when another emergency cropped up. We've been faithful in our car and house payments, actually we paid off both of our vehicles 18 months ago.

And still, the bottom of the financial barrel has been coming closer and closer.

We both had good credit ratings until this last year ... until Hubs lost his job & tried to work from home. Doing contract work from home only works when the economy is good & companies are willing to pay you to sit at home and help them out. Turns out Apple is in a downswing & Hubs hasn't gotten any work from them in over 2 months. No need to pay him to help customers build computers when no one is buying them. We've cut back on everything from daycare to groceries. We've cut back on all the house bills that we possibly can (phone, electric, cable, etc). If I slice anything else out of our budget then we may as well become Amish!

So we sat down and reviewed our money situation ... for our family to survive and keep our roof over our head, we have to cut everything that doesn't relate to daily survival. Last Friday we did the unthinkable and sat down with a bankruptcy attorney to discuss our options. Turns out that even the federal government will agree that we are Baaaa-roke. We explained that in our 8 years together we've never been late on payments, we've lived within our means & we've had money in savings. We explained that we've paid off all of our debt twice, just to wind up back in debt months later when emergencies would appear. We've done the responsible things and tried to use every dime that we could scrounge to stay afloat ... but we can't deny the reality any longer. Either we take this step, or we risk loosing our house and making the situation 100 times worse.

I just don't know how we got here ... I thought we did everything right. We put money in savings, we put money in 401K's, we used credit for emergencies, our house has a fixed interest rate. We've both had jobs with insurance benefits and yet my portion of the medical bills for the last 4 years totals over $15,000 - and the kicker? I've had no major illnesses or injuries! My medical bills for this pregnancy will add another $8,000 to that total ~ and I have insurance coverage PLUS medicaid!

It was nice to see that our current credit card debt is less than $9,000 ~ but the medicals are closing in at $22,000 without my pregnancy bills. I'm in constant fear that we will be sued, and several of these bills have been turned over to attorneys who want monthly payments that are higher than I can afford .... when the option is to feed my child or pay their office, who do you think wins?

The sad part is that this really isn't a solid solution. It's not like this will free up $1,000 a month for us, we will still be broke - but at least we'll be able to survive off of my paycheck until he finds another employer.

Hopefully.