I think we broke a federal law

Constance the First was talking about needing a prescription, just for a little "as needed" chemical help. It was one of those posts where you know that your response would be a page long, so you just nod in sympathy & plan a blog post of your own to reply.

My best friend went through our area's mental health group last year because she had the same "I think I'm going a little over the edge, I'm not bat crap crazy - I just need a little pharmaceutical help to keep me from ramming my buggy into random cars to vent my frustrations in life" kind of feelings. She went to our shared general practitioner who told her that she could prescribe a daily course but it could take a month to kick in ~ anything stronger than that she really didn't feel versed enough on to feel comfortable prescribing. Hey, at least she was honest & said she didn't know, but here's the number for the people who will.

Best Friend did the "intake exam" where they evaluate your mental status (as in: can you wait a few days to be seen or are you about to take out your family with a 9mm?) She was told that she was sane enough to wait a week before she talked to the doctor. While comforting, it was still frustrating to have 2 appointments with no results. She went to the doctor appointment & was thrilled to be told "You are so normal." And then left with a monthly scrip as well as an "as needed" dosage of help. The doctor even told her that the as needed may be a bit strong & she could break them in half if she needed. She goes back every 3 months & evaluates how the meds are, if she has any new needs & to renew her prescriptions.

Around this same time last year I was having a few problems with Hubs. Ok more than a few. I actually mentioned the "D" word ... not to him, but I had admitted it to friends which, to them, spoke to how depressed I really was at the time.

Best Friend & I sat down and talked for a long time one night and I left her house with 12 of her as needed pills. I had been on that particular pill before so we knew that it wouldn't hurt me & she knew that I wouldn't take them. That's the strange part about my brain. I need to know that the help is available and then I'm able to handle the situation. I kept those pills in a bottle in my purse until my pregnancy tests popped positive this year ... they are now in my bedside table quietly waiting until I'm no longer pregnant or breastfeeding.

I did the same thing when we lost the baby, I did the same thing after having The Princess, I did the same thing in college ... I don't know why it helps me to just know that I have the bottle in the house ~ maybe knowing that I have the salvation available makes it easier for me to function.

So yeah. We broke a federal law & shared a prescription medication. And I have a small bottle of little blue pills waiting for me if I ever feel like cracking up again ....