Wedding Whining Post #1

I'm sure this will become a series of posts over the next few months. And then at least 2 recapping posts after the big event in June. God help me I am dreading this event more than I dreaded that pre-labor enema. (That's a LOT of dread)

So to understand why this event bugs me there are a few details I need to lay out for you as groundwork:

1. This is the marriage of the perfect son to the perfect-virgin-pastors-daughter. (I am the black sheep and my husband comes from a broken family with issues)

2. They met in the perfect Baptist college and never slept together or lived together before marriage. (Hubs went to community college & we shacked up for almost 4 years before we signed the papers)

3. My family A-DORES her family. (My parents never met his family before the wedding & have never said a word about liking them. This is my fault for venting to my mom about them ONE TIME in four years)

4. My family worships the ground the bride walks on. (My parents never met hubs until the photographer was telling us to all stand together 2 hours before the ceremony. I'm not even kidding you.) Mom helped pick out her gown and was there to help look at bridesmaids dresses.

5. My mother always said that they never wanted to meet anyone I was with until there was a ring on my finger & a date on the invitations. She wasn't kidding. They met 1 guy that I dated in the 10 years I was out of their house. We were engaged, they came down to meet him & then 2 months later he split on me & left a "Dear John" letter for me. I've never heard from him again.
They never once tried to meet Hubs or get to know him in any way prior to our wedding.

Now ~ on to the fun.

My parents are going gahgah over this wedding. I just found out that they are paying for the catered rehearsal dinner complete with paying for hotels for the caterer that they are bringing in from NC to a Michigan wedding. They have invited family & family friends & are paying for those hotel rooms as well since everyone is coming in for the dinner on Friday night & then the wedding is Saturday night ~ so 2 nights of hotels for all those people.

They paid for $500 toward my wedding dress. A dress that was $575 with $400 more after the bra/slip/and alterations. I paid as much as they did by the time it was over. Hubs was PISSED that they wouldn't at least pay the $75 extra to cover the entire gown cost. And even then ~ they asked the store to fax them a copy of the receipt so that they could see it really cost the whole $500 they paid. Cause I just couldn't be trusted.

I asked my mom for a list of family names & addresses so that I could invite my family ~ to which my mother said "Oh I'll do all that just send me the invitations". I sent her 50 invites. I never got one card, present, or phone call from anyone other than 1 aunt & my grandmother. I had no one at my wedding from my family other than my parents & my brother. There were 50 people at our rehearsal dinner & not one single person was related to me. I found out later that my mother never mailed out a single invitation.

Granted I never asked my parents to lift a finger for my wedding ~ but they never offered. They flew into town at 7pm on the night of the rehearsal dinner & never bothered to even try to come in earlier that day so that they could come to the dinner.

I never saw them until I pulled up at the church to get ready for the pictures. My mother never saw my dress until I was standing for pictures. There is a picture of Hubs & I standing off to the side of the church & he's holding me & wiping my face ~ that shot looks like we are so in love and happy about getting married ... the truth is that he was trying to keep me calm & to not cry & ruin my makeup because I was so upset because I felt like they were annoyed by having to spend their weekend dealing with my wedding. I want to love us in that shot ~ but I hate the memories that picture brings back.

During our reception my mother took us aside & told Hubs that "If you ever make her cry we will come back down here and get you" ~ he looked straight at my mother & said "Well what about when you make her cry?" I've never loved him more than I did right in that moment. That moment cemented for me that I had married the perfect man.

I don't begrudge my brother all the love & happiness around his wedding ~ they deserve this day & they deserve to have the perfect, stress free, family supported day that the bride has always dreamed of.

I just wish my parents had thought enough of me to ever want to meet Hubs, ever invited us to spend time with them while we were dating, ever taken any interest in our wedding or being there to support me in the days leading up to it ....