I'm all for a good roll in the hay ~ stress relieving, relationship affirming, generally a good time is had by all ~ but if both parties aren't in the mood I don't get why WOMEN have to feel guilty about putting out when we aren't truly in the mood.
Have you ever ONCE heard a guy muttering about "Damn I was tired last night, and the wife rolled over wantin' a little sumthin sumthin & I just figured what the hell & gave it up for her." ?!!? NO! Because if the guy isn't in the mood then the train stops there - but when we aren't in the mood the moves don't stop & we either jump on the train or get the cold "why are you so mean" shoulder for a week.
It's not that I don't love to love on Hubs ~ but last night when he rolled over to "snuggle" at 4 am (after I went to bed at 2:30 because I was trying to work on papers that will be due in several days) I just wasn't having any of it. I wasn't mean about it, I just rolled away & kept sleeping!
My mom gave me this "How-to-have-a-happy-Christian-marriage" book when we were engaged & there was an entire chapter dedicated to sex in marriage. It was directed at the wife & only her, listing all the reasons you should make yourself available to your husband & not turn him down & how detrimental it is to your marriage to do so.
Really? 'Cause it will be more detrimental to start feeling like sex is a chore & something I should just submit to whether I want to or not. Granted I'm rusty on my Bible classes ~ but I really don't think that's what God wants for my marriage.
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2 comments:
I know! It's so dumb! I can't answer for women as a group, but I can tell you why _I_ put out when I'm not in the mood, even though I think you're right that Mike wouldn't do the same for me:
1) I'm physically ABLE to put out even when I'm not in the mood (he's not)
2) I've been sexually DEAD since getting pregnant more than a year and a half ago. (I'll see a dr, in fact, if things don't improve when I wean the baby.) I can't see making him wait until I'm in the mood, in circumstances such as those.
3) I don't think one partner should get to make ALL the decisions about when to have sex, which is how it ends up being if we only do it when I'M in the mood. (He's ALWAYS in the mood.)
4) There is an improvement in our relationship that benefits me, too, even if I'm not Gettin' Some personally.
But 4:00 a.m.? NOT the time I'd consider these reasons! At 4:00 a.m. he can take care of his OWN self.
Oh I feel for ya... I have zero sex drive and while I do feel bad turning hubby down, I can't stand the freaking nagging that I get all the time. I just want to say "leave me the frick alone!" Granted, it has been quite awhile for hubby... I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I'm sure he'll have a few months of "dry spell" after the baby is born as well. Oohhhh wellL! LOL!
BTW... congrats on the baby! You must have given in at least once HAA HAA!
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