I feel like he's looking to me to make this better & make him feel better ~ I don't have the strength to do all of it right now. I can't keep us afloat & keep his spirits up at the same time. If I think about how despressed & broke we really are - I'll never make it through this. I am keeping myself focused on tasks in an effort to not think about how shitty everything has gotten. If I can make a goal & see it through every day then I feel like I'm at least accomplishing something & getting marginally closer to the finish line.
It's not helping that Hubs attitude that he is a SAHD now. He had to drop his work hours for last week & this week (since they were all during the day) & he has started keeping the Princess at the house with him. Financially this is actually helpful ~ we were paying $500/mo in daycare for him to sit at home and make about $400 ... a month. He always said that he would love to be a SAHD ~ but I think he severely underestimated the amount of work that this would entail.
I'm trying my hardest NOT to ask him what he did all day ... especially when there have been 4 loads of laundry needing folding & 3 loads needing laundering since last Wednesday. Especially when the floors have not been touched, the bed not made, the bathrooms not tended to and the child is still in her pajamas at 6pm. Every day. I know that keeping her safe/entertained/fed is a full time job. But I also know that if the positions were reversed I would never hear the end of his whining if he was to come home to those conditions. I should be happy he has dinner cooked ... he would be pissed off that his boxers weren't in his drawer. She wakes up at 10am & naps for 2 hours a day. You can't tell me that he can't get SOME kind of housework done during the day .... but I don't ask him that because part of me knows that he's trying to adjust to no longer being the bread winner and not feeling like a Manly Man while he plays with dollies and makes horsey sounds and changes diapers all day. Why make him feel worse ... even though it's making my "maid job" harder.
Hubs can pick up new hours next week & work evenings & weekends - his money will actually benefit the house until he can either find a new job or make this one worth the effort. It's just going to take time ... and maybe focusing on work will improve his attitude soon.
I'm done whining. I'm the Mom & the Mom does what has to be done & keeps it all together.
Mom makes everything work & takes care of everyone's heart.
Mom falls apart in the shower while everyone else is still asleep in the mornings.
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3 comments:
I think men are seriously clueless about how much housework has to be done just to maintain the bare standards of life. For awhile I went out to work and Paul was a SAHD, and we had to have a HUGE confrontation about it, because he SERIOUSLY didn't understand that all those things were HIS job now. He was gratifyingly jaw-dropped---like it suddenly hit him, and he had nothing to say in response.
You are soooo right about the last few things you wrote about Moms. Is it wrong for me to say that women are better at the staying home thing and that men just really don't "get it?" Cause they don't. They just don't. get. it.
*hugs you*
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