Is there a way to raise children for free?

I am looking into a mother's morning out program for the Princess:

2 days/week
8:30am - 12
Follows the county school schedule for holiday breaks & goes until the end of the school year.

They have a preschool curriculum:
Reading/Class time (learn letters, numbers, Bible stories)
Art class (finger paint, playdo, etc)
Music class (minister of music does this one)

They do Christmas & End of Year programs - have an Easter Egg hunt, Thanksgiving feast, dress up party for halloween

They will help teach potty training

They do one snack midmorning & have playground time ....

$110/mo Less than daycare ... but still, $110 for essentially 8 days a month? Would she be there enough to justify the travel time (10 min each way) & fee?

I know in the grand scheme $110 a month isn't that much, but this will wind up being $1090 after it's all said and done. I don't have $1090 to blow for her to blow bubbles and smoosh playdough 7 hours a week, you know what I mean?

Brace Yourself!

Are you ready? Are you sitting?

Really? Do you need a minute?

Ok - here goes!

I'm happily in love with my husband.

I went through and read over a lot of my posts in this apartment & man ~ I bring some bad juju here. If my husband stumbled into the building he would think I was on the verge of divorcing him & walking out with my paycheck in one hand and the keys to the (best) car in the other. I'm not sure if the kids would be on my hips ... I'm thinking the building might not have enough soundproofing to tamp down the Baby's cries at 2am, which would just piss of my neighbors who are trying to get a decent night's sleep (Hi Constance Neighbors!)

We've had a few good weeks lately. I was home sick and dying last week (ok fine, I could have posted at least 4 "OMG I'M ABOUT TO KILL HIM" tweets, but we all survived) but it was nice to have a week of family bonding with no stress about having to be anywhere or accomplish anything. We haven't had that in a long time!

I really do love him, and I appreciate everything that he does for our family. While I bitch and moan about the things that he doesn't do/doesn't do the way I would ~ I can't hold him to a standard that I haven't lived yet. The only time I was a SAHM was in the weeks after the girls were born ~ and when the Baby was born he was at home with me to help wrangle two girls. When I was home alone with the Princess it was easy to get things done while she slept, there was no one else needing me! It's not fair of me to constantly compare what I would do to what he does, because it's never happened. While I do remember that 90% of the time & I bite my tongue before I say something hurtful that I can't take back, I do come here and spill my guts openly and honestly. It's my personality, I have to have somewhere to spill it, but I don't want to say the words to him and there's only so many times my girlfriends can hear me whine before they muzzle me. So I come here and write things out ... but I worry that if he was ever to find this place, he would be very hurt to see a lot of things that I've thought/written in the last year.

I am grateful for our marriage. I know that things could be bad, r e a l l y bad. I know that we need some time to reconnect, but this is part of having small children around ~ your time alone gets sacrificed for a little while. I miss having him all to myself, but I love who he's become since our girls were born. I know that we are a strong team, and I know that we are committed to our family & each other. For that, I'm exceedingly grateful.

I won't drop who I am on this blog (especially because I can cuss and cut up here without fearing that my father will see it, as he does on my open blog) but I need to add a disclaimer:

*words said here in anger cannot be held against me later as, while they were true at the time, the anger died .002 seconds after the entry was created. This is an emotional outlet ONLY and 20 minutes of ranting here should not be taken as indicitive of my emotions during the other 1,420 minutes in the same day.

I just wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about me over here. I am happily married, I do adore my husband and our babies, I do attend church (albeit sporadically lately). I am a breastfeeding, baby wearing, disposable diaper using, homemade baby food making, McDonald's happy meal loving Mommy. I opt to stagger vaccinations and let the kids eat processed foods with organic milk. I occasionally spank & let the Princess watch cartoons & Disney movies. I'm not perfect & I never will be.

And I do love my husband & I would be crushed to loose him. Ever.

Just wanted to make that clear ;)

MckMelodrama

I've been thinking a lot about integrity in blogging lately ~ it started with the great grabfest that was BlogHer'09 and the tweets flying fast and furious about bloggers who are (essentially) in it for the "stuff". Whether it's swag bags, big corporate freebies, the money or even the adoration of many fans and readers ... bloggers who aren't in it for love but for the stuff.

And then MckMelodrama started on a (rather) large blogger's site

It was revealed through public records that a respected Christian blogger is in dire financial straights with having 2 homes in foreclosure in the last 8 months. She's called the police twice last year on her prince of a husband for domestic violence during her high risk pregnancy (both times he pled guilty with a lesser charge dropped). And her youngest child is in & out of dire medical condition of which she tweets. Constantly.

While I do completely agree with the Mckfollowers in that she does have the right not to discuss parts of her life on her blog (financial crisis, marital crisis, etc) I cannot condone her recent desire to downplay the revelation of her husband's multiple arrests for domestic violence/disturbance. It scares me to see any woman brush allegations of this nature under the rug ~ but especially a woman with so many small children in the home. These small children cannot defend themselves or remove themselves from dangerous situations should that need arise, I would hope that at the very least she's able to be honest with herself about the situation for their sake.

I, personally, would be too crushed to discuss one foreclosure on my open blog, two would be humiliating for me. I think at the very least we have to be thankful that she's not playing a "My child is very ill, my husband's job has suffered & we are loosing our house ~ please help! Send donations!" card. (Although that could come any day now, especially seeing as her local Fox station seems to love doing stories on Mcktrainwreck.)

While I don't agree with other bloggers who are crying "Munchhausen's!" over the situation, her son's health and treatment does give her a certain amount of attention, hand holding and adulation that she wouldn't get just being a mommy to 4 small kids & one (apparently stressed & angry) husband. Maybe that's not healthy ~ but neither is the unparalleled dedication and adoration of the Mcklovers

I've been watching Mckblog and several AntiMckblogs, watching the drama unfold and I have to say that I do feel bad for the girl at the center of this storm. It seems that she's trying to portray the life she wants to have and glossing over the reality of what she lives every day. No blogger is 100% honest about their lives - there are two sides to every story & even your IRL BFF keeps secrets about things that are too painful to look at. I would never want my life dissected the way Mckblogger's has been, but that's why I don't even allude to the idea that my blog is 100% of my life. 60% maybe .... 80% on a really good day. My issue with Mckblog is that this glossy veneer is purported to be her real life. She's alluded to the fact that there were marital problems & they are in counseling ~ what she's glossed over is that this was court ordered counseling on his part.

While I can see why her supporters would be upset to have their friend's troubles revealed openly, all of this information is public record and easily found. When Mckblogger stood up for responsibility and integrity in blogging during the April Rose situation, she opened herself up for the same scrutiny. When she began blogging the minute details of her son's medical care and giving blow by blow tweets, she opened herself up for scrutiny of her parenting & her handling of the situation.

All that being said, the venom found in her supporters defense statements leads me to think that "they doth protest too much". There are more people seeing the holes in Mckblogger's story, they just feel guilty - as if they are betraying a trusted friend to think that she's not worthy of the platform they've placed her on. But in truth, no human is worthy of the platform she was on last week.