Dearest Husband,
If you don't want to call your mother and ask her for financial help ~ then GET A JOB.
I love you. I love that you are staying home with our girls. I love that you are able to keep them at home and that you do the laundry, and try to keep the house clean, and occasionally have meals cooking when I get home.
I appreciate everything you do, and I'm so glad that at least one of us has the opportunity to be at home while our girls are so young.
That being said - we are broke. I know that you know this & there is no huge breaking news in that statement, but we are. I think you know how broke we are, but I'm not sure that you fathom the depth that is that brokedness. When I put off paying the light bill it's because I had to have gas to get back and forth to work, or because our daughter's needed diapers for their cute little tushies. I don't play with the timing of our cable bill for fun ~ I don't want to see what would happen if Sesame Street was unavailable for the month ~ I want to make sure that we have enough money to buy the groceries to keep our daughter fed. When I buy the cheap paper towels, it's not to drive you insane ~ it's so that we have another $3 available to buy more bread or cereal. And yes, I refuse to buy harsh toilet paper. If I have to cut every other luxury out of my life I am at least going to be comfortable when I wipe damnit.
You've told me before that you would get a part time job in the evenings to help us out ~ well it's time to step up & pitch in financially. We don't need much extra a month, just a few hundred for groceries and gas money. I would love to have a bit to buy clothes for the girls (or God forbid - myself) but for right now, I just want to be able to stop juggling bill money around & be able to buy groceries without having to pray that the debit card clears.
Please help me out with this. I know that I ask a lot of you & that you are tired by the end of the day ~ but please, don't make me be the one who has to work a second job. If I have to miss any more time with my girls I think - no - I know that I would wind up resenting you, and that would severely damage our marriage.
Either suck it up & continue to sell your soul & ask your mother for help, or go find a job. No more "looking online" or posting online for jobs, after 3 months with no nibbles it's obviously NOT working. Get out, go to the stores and fill out applications.
I love you & I want to keep loving you. All I'm asking is for 20 or 25 hours a week, for you to leave and help our family financially. I need this. We need this.
Your Loving (and desperately stressed) Wife
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5 comments:
This seems fair to me. If my husband, who is the one who works, would take care of the kids, I would happily work 20-25 hours a week for some extra money. I've done it, in fact, up until I got pg the last time, because I think there is a point when a baby is tiny that I just have to be there before bed. But you sound like you are WELL within your rights here, is what I'm saying. I hope something shifts soon.
Sorry- I had to delete that because it sounded a little too bitter towards my DH.
I understand your pain- and think that what you're asking sounds totally fair.
My husband just started working full-time again after 14 months of being mostly unemployed. I knew that he wasn't entirely to blame about the situations, but there were some days, maybe after a particularly shitty day of work for me, when I came home to find him happily relaxing and I thought my head would explode. And yes, his parents helped us out a lot, but there were times I had to be the one to ask, because he didn't want to. So frustrating.
I feel for you.
I don't know how you feel about such things - but a family of four likely qualifies for at least some food stamp benefits, even with income coming in. It might not be much, but $100 worth of groceries is $100 you could spend on something else.
There is also giving plasma (your husband could do this a couple of evenings a week) - that usually runs around $40 to $50/week. It's been about 20 years, but I did it when I was in my twenties and used it for grocery money.
Some people buy stuff at garage sales and then turn around and sell it on ebay for a little profit. I think this is a lot of work for not a lot of money, but I also have a friend who did it enough that she was able to save for a down payment on the house she and her husband bought.
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