Things I Can't Talk About Anywhere Else

I haven't been around here much in the last few weeks because well, I've had a baby hanging off my boob & that kind of deters internet access for me ... but I've also had Hubs hanging off my shoulder & that really impedes my ability to come on this little site and vent. Oye. I swear it's like I birthed him too some days.

So. Things that I will be ranting on around here in the coming days & weeks:

Birth control: 'cause I am NOT having another kid for a while.
Sex after pregnancy: 'cause I need to know I'm not the only one.
Sex and breastfeeding: 'cause I need to know how in the hell that's supposed to work.
Hubs UP MY ASS: 'cause I need to come to terms with this whole "till death" idea some days.
Money: Dude, money. Need it & ain't got it. Why can the government write checks with no money & yet I'm not allowed to. How on earth to save it. College fund is a wha' now?
Exhaustion: 'cause I'm living in the fog of no sleep for 12 weeks & none on the horizon
Happy-all-the-time Mommy Bloggers: 'cause I just don't get them.
In-Laws: 'cause there should be a law about how much shiz they are allowed to create/inflict/wield upon your life.

I do want to apologize for the incredible number of "holy-shiz-I-can't-stand-pregnancy" posts from last year. I wish I could have balanced them with other happier thoughts, but on many days, there were none to be found. I stopped writing on my open blog for several months simply because I had no positives posts floating around in my head. I hate to think that some poor preggy girl/wanting to be preggy girl stumbled upon my diary & thought "Holy crap how evil is she?!?!" But in reality, yes, for the large part - I hated pregnancy. I love my happy & healthy child ~ I would go through it all again in a heartbeat for her; but I'm not convinced I would go through it again for some unknown child. Does that make any kind of sense?

This is the space in my life where I am allowed to truly be open and honest. This is where I get to stop the censoring & admit what I'm really thinking. It's not always pretty, and it won't make everyone happy ~ but I need this space. The things I say here are true within the time they are written & my feelings are subject to change, even within the hour the post is made, so please don't judge me based on one moment. But (to quote the former therapist) I own these feelings & I won't change them to make others feel better.

So ~ to balance the admissions of meanness with prettiness, here you go!